Take A Break

If you’ve seen the musical Hamilton, or listened to the music, then the title of this post might remind you of the song by the same title in the musical. In the song, the main character’s wife is encouraging and practically begging him to take a break from work and spend time with her and the family. Alexander Hamilton, the main character, is insistent that he cannot because he has very important work to do. His refusal to take this break signals the beginning of a series of negative events that ultimately lead to the character’s demise, at least in the musical. 

Why am I referencing musical numbers? Because I want to encourage people to NOT be like Hamilton. Alexander Hamilton was a real person, and though the musical dramatizes his life by adding some not so accurate elements, many of the scenes depict real events, including his reluctance to take what was probably a much needed vacation. Many of the clients that I work with, and people I know personally, are like Hamilton in this regard, especially if they are BIPOC. Many of us are taught early on that we will not be given the same opportunities as our White counterparts unless we are extraordinary. This is even more relevant for immigrant populations that are already at a disadvantage due to employers' unconscious biases working against them, and less opportunities being available to begin with. This leaves people in situations where traditionally Western concepts of a “break” don’t actually work for them because they can’t take those kinds of breaks without their livelihood being at stake. And yet, they are still dealing with the impacts of stress and burnout which have negative effects in the long run. What is such a person to do then?

To address this dilemma, it would first be important to acknowledge that time off work or tropical vacations aren’t the only types of breaks, and sleep or naps aren’t the only kinds of rest. Early in my own therapy journey, my therapist introduced to me the idea that different kinds of rest exist. Sometimes, our exhaustion is not physical but mental, or emotional, or sensory, or something else. Maybe we are tired of having to do a lot of cognitive or “thinking brain” heavy work. Perhaps we are tired of staring at screens all day long. Or maybe it’s something else. Whatever it is, the same way we recognize the need to sit down or sleep when physically tired, there is need to recognize what we need a break from, when we are experiencing exhaustion in other domains of being.

You’re probably wondering now, How do I figure out what kind of rest I need? I have a few suggestions for you. One is by taking the rest quiz on: https://www.restquiz.com/quiz/rest-quiz-test/. This quiz is created by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith in connection to her book, Sacred Rest. This book discusses 7 different types of rest and provides suggestions for how to meet those rest needs. The quiz provides an easy way to assess your personal need for each of those types of rest. Both the quiz and book can be helpful tools for exploring your rest-related needs. As a disclaimer, I would like to share that this book has concepts and examples that may not land for everyone, so keep that in mind if you do pick it up. Alternatively, you can take time to sit with yourself and try getting to the root of the feelings of tiredness. Get curious and ask yourself questions. Consider your sleep patterns, what you think about during the day/night, what you spend a lot of time doing or focusing on, and anything else that feels important to notice. From there, you can start planning out how to address whatever comes to light from your inquiries, including possibly speaking to friends or family, connecting with a therapist, or talking to other healthcare professionals.

To end, I want to acknowledge that no two lives are the same, and we can’t all rest in the same ways. However, it’s still important that we listen to what our bodies are telling us and take action in ways that feel accessible to us. We can only ignore our need for rest for so long. Like when your computer tells you it needs to restart, but you keep putting it off until it eventually shuts down on its own. Our bodies can and will do the same, which can be more harmful or possibly dangerous depending on the situation. So, let’s avoid that possibility and do what we can to make sure we get some rest.