The Myth of Laziness

Let’s talk about how we define “lazy”. 

This is my third (and hopefully last) attempt at writing this blog post. Why is that? Because the topic of laziness is one that is very complex, yet people only seem to think of it in very black or white terms. We only look at laziness through the lens of productivity, and productivity says you’re either doing or you’re not. It doesn’t consider the process or the buildup to the final product. We remove discussion of the things that prevent us from doing, or the fact that value is not solely dependent on output. So in this post, I'm bringing those things back into the equation.

Let’s start with a definition of lazy. A quick search defines it as being “unwilling to work or use energy”. Seems simple, straightforward - but I have questions. How do we determine that someone is “unwilling”? Is the person who seems to have an attitude? The person who takes a long time to get it done? Or the person who doesn’t get it done at all? I don’t know about you, but I certainly have days when I’m not particularly overjoyed about doing productive tasks, or days when I don’t do things at my usual pace. And I know many of us even have days when we struggle to find the motivation to do anything at all. So, I don’t think it’s fair to label every instance of these things as being “unwilling” to get things done. Rather, it’s us recognizing that we are having a difficult time and acknowledging our mental, emotional, and physical limitations. 

And I think most of us can accept that, at least once in a while. But we also live in a world that says it shouldn't happen often and asks “what about people who are like this all the time? What about people who never seem to be doing anything”? To which I would ask, what do you see as doing something? How we define productivity plays a big role in how we define laziness. I find that our ideas about productivity make assumptions about people’s ability, neurotype (how a person’s brain works), class, race, capacity, and several other potential factors depending on the specific situation. 

As someone who works with neurodivergent individuals, I find that a lot of their challenges come from trying to exist in a world that doesn’t see their way of doing things as valid. So then, they spend extra energy on trying to function in “socially acceptable” ways that don’t actually work for them. The result: they are burnt out, not meeting others’ expectations, still feeling out of place, and being called lazy or stupid or both. But there is no lack of effort ot unwillingness here. If anything, it’s the exact opposite. 

Let’s consider another scenario. A woman in her 30s. She works full-time, spends 2 hours of her day commuting to and from work, lives at home taking care of parents with health challenges, while trying to manage health challenges of her own, and is an active volunteer in her community. There’s a huge project at work with a swiftly approaching deadline, and her boss says that everyone needs to work overtime until it’s done. She tells the boss she can't because she needs to be home at a certain time to care for her family. They act like they understand, but make snide remarks about how she doesn’t have a husband or kids, and that it feels like she’s “not putting in as much effort as everyone else”. Meanwhile, this woman is also receiving messages from a co-volunteer in an upcoming community event telling her that she’s “moving way too slow” on some of her tasks, despite being aware of her health challenges and family situation. 

I come across a variation of this woman often, and you know what they say to me 95% of the time? “I feel so lazy”. They come looking for how to be more productive. How to juggle everything better. How to not get overwhelmed by everything. They are more worried about production, output, and how others see them, than their own health and well-being. The same goes for my neurodivergent clients. And for my clients who live at the center of both intersections? The guilt, shame, and self-deprication are multiplied. And for what reason? Because we have reduced human beings to machines whose only value is in how much they can produce for others.

Don't get me wrong, there are things we need to do to survive and even live happy and healthy lives. We can’t neglect that. There is joy in being able to give and show up for others. There is a level of challenge that is positively stimulating and produces personal growth. But forcing these things without consideration for our unique strengths and constraints essentially just turns us into glorified robots. So, are you lazy? Maybe, but maybe you’re just tired. Maybe you’re overwhelmed. Maybe you’re overstimulated. Maybe you’re out of your element. And maybe you’re choosing to prioritize rest right now. And that’s okay.