Burnout

There is no award for “never took a break”

There is no award for “never asked for help”

There is no award for “powered through burnout”

I could go on but I think my point has been made. In my last blog, I addressed the myth of productivity. How in many if not most societies today, productivity ends up being a measure of how much we do for others without consideration for the cost to ourselves. The end result of this race to the bottom is burnout. 

Burnout is what happens when we are constantly “doing” without making adequate time for rest. It’s what happens when we overextend and overexert ourselves for prolonged periods of time without opportunities to replenish and restore the energy we’ve used up.

I made some Instagram posts this month addressing signs of burnout and easy things you can do to prevent & recover from burnout. And here, I would like to look at the cause of burnout because as straightforward as it is, we aren’t always aware that the actions we take are leading us to burnout. But to put it simply, burnout happens when we be doing too much (yes, I wrote it like that on purpose. It’s BHM so you can’t say anything). It happens when we are doing things beyond our capacity. I imagine that for most people this makes sense logically, but how do we actually know what our capacity is?

I think that requires a look at multiple factors. A mistake I find that we make when assessing our capacity is only looking at our tangible ability to do something or meet a request. What I meant by that is that we only take a look at whether we have the means or skillset to do something. For example, if my friend asks me to help them move, assessing my capacity based only on my ability would look like thinking about if I have gas in my car, whether I have the physical energy to carry items, if I have the time in my schedule. These things are certainly important, because if we don’t have the physical ability to do something then it’s impossible to support the request.

However, this is only part of the equation. Capacity has to take into account our emotional, mental, spiritual, social, creative, and sensory abilities and limitations too. These factors are just as important as the physical ones, but more likely to be overlooked due to their intangible nature. So, let’s bring this back to the moving scenario. Sure, I may have time after work and a full tank, but if I’m mentally drained after a long day or get easily overstimulated by the chaos that comes with moving, then I don’t actually have the capacity to help out. And if I try anyway? Well, think of it like this. At any given time, there is some amount of firewood that we have available to share with others, and some amount that we have for ourselves. There is no clear distinction between these sets, aside from the distinctions we choose to make. 

Some wood goes towards fueling energy for work, school, family, friends, etc. but some has to be for us. If the wood meant for oneself is burnt for others, then that is energy, warmth, or light that we miss out on. And if we’re constantly running at a deficit, and giving without replenishment, eventually there is nothing left. We burn out. That is not of benefit to yourself or anyone else.

How to prevent this? Learn to say NO. I’m sure it’s been said a bazillion times but there really is no other way. It won’t always be easy, and it will cost you something at times. But you have to be the one to decide how much of your firewood is going out to others and how much to keep for yourself, because people will always ask you for some and they won’t know that you don’t have any for them unless you say so. You have to decide that you deserve to be warm and have light. You have to recognize that limitless self-sacrifice is actually self-destruction. That love without boundaries is chaotic and unpredictable, and is liable to do more harm than good. I hope you get the idea by now. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t give a little more sometimes. It just means that we should do so with care, and show ourselves the same compassion we want to show others.